Adventures with God.

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you’re stronger
Stronger than you know

Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason
For someone not to try

Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don’t have a chance
(That’s what faith can do)
When the world says you can’t
It’ll tell you that you can

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do
That’s what faith can do

Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

-Kutlass.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a song actually speak so much beauty and touch my heart, so I just wanted to post the lyrics and if you want to look up the song and listen to it then I hope that this song may bless and touch your heart as much as it has mine.

So I was just randomly reading some of my old blog entries from my blogspot (I enjoy doing this because I get to see how my mindset was during that time and how I am now) and came across this entry: God is Love. Hope you guys enjoy it!

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

Everyone has their own perspectives on love. The dictionary definition of love is: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. Love is an emotion, love is a feeling, love is many different things. But true love is different from what we call “love”. In my psychology class I remember my professor telling me the average person is “in love” with their significant other for two years, and then after that it’s all about commitment and how long they are willing to make it work. The love we see on television, in movies, and in our lives around people always make us want that in our own lives. Society depicts this image to us of what love is, showing it through media and other forms of advertising. But the thing that society is forgetting is, that without God in the relationship, there will never be true love. God is the only one that can teach us about true love. The relationship we have with Him as Christians, he shows us true love by showing patience, being kind, not being easily angered by our sins and neglect towards Him, etc. When we get into a relationship with someone, we should always base it on a relationship with God as the center of our attentions to know and learn true love for each other. Of course it’s easier said than done, right?

For me personally, I can’t recall a time in the past when I was dating a girl and God was the center of the relationship. We were always in the “honeymoon phase” and wanting to see and talk to each other as much as we can, and when we couldn’t see each other we would think about that person as much as we can. This was a big reason why most of my relationships did not work out, because of the simple fact that the girl was taking me away from God instead of strengthening my relationship with Him.Now I am looking for a girl that will not only accept me for who I am, all my faults and imperfections in life, but also bring me closer to God. I recently just saw “Valentines Day” with a few friends. In that movie the part I liked best was when the grandma said “When you truly love someone, you have to love everything about them. All their faults, all their imperfections, and not only the good things.” That really stuck out to me, because how many times in life do we look for the easy way out when we find out something we don’t like about our significant other? We totally forget all the reasons why you love her and you only look at that imperfection that you find out. Now I’m not saying this happens all the time, but I know it’s happened to me a couple of times in the past. When I would find out something that I didn’t really like about the girl I was dating, I would start examining more and more on what else I didn’t like and than I would usually just end it somehow. Of course I know now how stupid I was, because I’m not perfect and she was willing to see past my imperfections and be with me, but back than I had a different mindset.

There is this quote: “Love isn’t about finding the perfect person, but seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” That quote is true in so many ways. Many people have this mindset of what their perfect girl/guy is in their mind, but what they tend to forget is that love is not about finding that “perfect one”. Love is when you see past a person’s imperfections and you love them for who they are, flaws and all. So to fix this, we really need to take that image of what we think the perfect person is for us, and just have an open mind with every person we meet. No relationship is the same, it all depends on the two people in that relationship. So when we are in a relationship and start to compare it to a relationship we had before and wonder why it’s not the same when you were so “in love” in the other relationship, that can ruin something great with the person you have now if you keep that mindset. For these past few months, I feel that God is really trying to teach me to depend on Him and Him alone, and stop depending on girls like how I used to in the past. Every time I would end with one girl, right after or a few weeks later another girl would come into my life and I never really rejected it because to be honest it felt good to have that comfort and know someone cares about you. But I forgot about the person that cares for me the most in this world, the person that is the only one that can truly love me, and that person is God. So now I’m just setting my sights on him and making my relationship stronger and learning things that I will need to know when I meet the next girl I will be in a relationship with. God is not only love, but He is true love and where we learn it from. Thanks for reading.

TAKE TIME TO READ. It’s worth reading it. Trust me :)



Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.

I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?

Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.

By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” 

- Bob Marley.

So because I am now beginning to reach the age where the relationships that I begin are truly important, I find that the type of girl woman that I want as my wife has changed throughout the years. When I was younger and growing up, I used to think more materialistic when it came to my future spouse. I wanted her to be the most beautiful girl in the world with the best personality and ALL MINE. But now, I’ve noticed that when it comes to starting a relationship with a woman, I take into account more things then I used to in the past. I don’t want to necessarily say that I’ve become more picky with the type of woman I’m looking for, but I do have sort of a standard now that I do not want to belittle or compromise. In the past, I used to jump into relationships so quickly (sometimes even lowering my standards of want I was looking for in a girl just because I was physically attracted to her) that once we started to actually get to know each other two scenarios played out: 1) We either did not click and just ended it. 2) I would find myself falling too quickly and back out because I was too scared of putting myself in a position of being vulnerable. When I think back, I messed up so many relationships that could have been a beautiful experience just because I didn’t trust the opposite sex. Technically it’s not even their fault, but my relationship with the opposite sex was ill-fated ever since my birth mother left my family and I when I was a one-year old. This made me totally feel a sense of betrayal and mistrust towards the opposite sex, and it’s been a work in progress even to this day. I still struggle at times with this insecurity I guess of putting my whole heart into a relationship, and being in a position of vulnerability.

I haven’t talked to or dated a girl for a little over a year now, and there were a lot of mixed emotions about it at first. It felt weird not having someone there to make me feel good by drowning me with compliments & letting me know I’m worth something and to talk to (this is the longest I’ve gone without having a girl in my life ever). But in a way, I also got to enjoy this time of being single and spending time to myself. I learned a lot more about myself and started to learn to become more independent and less dependent on the opposite sex. I believe there are two big reasons why it has been a while since I haven’t really talked to a girl and they were simply that I was going through a tough time and couldn’t deal with the stress so I shut myself down from talking to girls and also because I was so sick and tired of the same pattern in the relationships I was engaging in. We meet, talk for a couple weeks to get to know each other, go out on dates, start falling for each other more, I back out, we don’t talk anymore. I needed a change and I believe that God knew I needed it also so He luckily helped grant me this time to myself. I was given this opportunity to spend more time with Him and just focus on getting myself prepared both mentally and spiritually for my future wife and kids. I was given time to start thinking about what type of woman I want to marry, but knowing that God has already provided her for me and that she is exactly what I need and more.

I do get scared thinking of my future wife though..thinking, “What if I damaged myself too much relationship-wise that I will bring all my past habits with me when I meet her? “I screwed up…what if she was always waiting for me and here I am having a past with dating girls all the time?” “What if I’m not mentally or spiritually ready by the time we meet?” But then I realize that God will let us meet each other when we are both ready to start our relationship together. I realize that in the bible God talks about the characteristics of love and how it is patient, kind, not proud, not easily angered, and does not keep any record of wrongs and that is the love that I will be sharing with my future life partner. But the biggest thing that God helped me realize is, that I don’t need to worry so much about this because He already has the most beautiful woman (when I say beautiful I mean that in the sense of her entire being. Both physically, mentally, spiritually beautiful) in the world that He created for me [haha whatever, I’m being biased towards my future wife. (: ] We will strive to create the love that we read about in the bible together, always keeping God in the center of our relationship. I picture meeting her almost all the time…greeting her and looking into her beautiful mesmerizing eyes with her gorgeous smile that can make me forget about the world around us and just feel so good inside. Then grabbing her soft hands, slowly bringing her closer towards me until we finally embrace with a hug for what may seem like minutes. Afterwards, we walk hand in hand closely together (so close that I will be intoxicated by her fragrance) and just enjoy God’s beautiful nature, then I can finally say that the wait was worth it and we go off to create our lives together.

“[The void] It’s that place in our lives where what we’ve been hanging onto … clinging to for dear life … is stripped away. It’s that place in us where we let go of what we know, what we think we know, and what we want and surrender to the unknown. It is the place of saying and meaning, ‘I don’t know.’ It means standing there with our hands empty for a while, sometimes watching everything we wanted disappear; our self image, our definition of who we thought we should be, the clones we’ve created of ourselves, the people we thought we had to have, the things we thought were so important to collect and surround ourselves with, the job we were certain was ours, the place we thought we’d live in all our lives… Surrender control to the supreme wisdom and authority of God and to the Divine in your soul. Step into the void with courage. Learn to say, I don’t know. That’s not blind faith. It’s pure faith that will allow God and your spirit to lead you wherever your soul wants and needs to go.”

Melody Beattie, “Finding Your Way Home”

Something I’ve noticed these past few years about myself is that I have changed drastically in 5 years. From the time that I was an immature 15-year old, thinking that life was all about getting as many girls as I could & living my life as if there would be no consequences, to how I am today just days away from my 22nd birthday…there is a great change in almost all aspects of my life. For the most part, I changed for the better when it comes to maturity, how my mentality about girls were, and also starting to take life more seriously. But as I took some time today to think about what so far in my life have I achieved and if I can say that I’ve lived my life so far to the best of my ability, I started to ponder and reflect on all the events I could remember in my past. Of course as people grow older, we mature and start taking more responsibility of our lives (well for most people at least haha), but there are always those memories and aspects of our past personality that we miss and long for. It’s just human nature for us to be attached to things, and as we live life, we naturally change all the time throughout the years leaving us with this yearning for having everything like it used to be. Now when I say “attached to things” I mean that in the sense that we can still almost always remember clearly the emotions at the time of a past memory, and this memory is a part of us.

Now the point of this entry isn’t to say that I miss how I used to be and wishing that I could be the same now, because I believe that everything that happened so far has changed and formed me into the person I am today. God helped me to open my eyes to a lot of aspects in my personality and soul that I needed to change to become a better person so that I may reflect God’s love through myself. But if I can say one thing that I do miss: it would have to be the fact that I used to be fearless. When I say “fearless”, it came in both the aspect of not worrying about if I could or could not do it, but I would just go ahead and try something new if I felt like I wanted to. This “You Only Live Once” attitude that I used to harbor in my high school years really helped me to put myself out there more and experience a lot more different things that life had to offer. This isn’t to say that I no longer have this mentality, but I can tell that I haven’t really taken as many chances/risks like I used to. It may be due to the fact that because I am getting older, that I realize more of how my actions have a more bigger consequence on how my life will play out in the future. But I believe that everyone goes through this at some point in their lives, where they have to put aside certain aspects of their lives because as we grow up, we gain more responsibilities whether it being starting a new family with wife and kids or starting a career that we would like to go into.

What I also realized today is that, I’ve spent too much time moping and whining about this difficult time I’m going through, and forgetting to actually live life. There’s a quote I came across randomly on the internet that I thought was quite funny. It said, “You don’t stop playing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop playing.” I just thought it would be a good way to end this entry, and also to just reiterate what my homie Drake has been saying these days on the radio, “You only live once, thats the motto, YOLO.”  So live each day to the fullest for God, because it took me the time to write this entry for me to realize that I need to get over this situation and start also. God bless.